Doctor Fred's Meds
by twelve.oh.three
Summary: Spencer accidentally consumes a brownie of medicinal qualities and the results thereof.


**Title:** Doctor Fred's Meds

**Rating**: T for you know, language, drugs, sexual innuendos, and such. the usual.

**Pairing:** Spashley, of course! Like any other couple is worth writing about...

**Authors Note:** If you don't care for whatever redundant things I have to say please feel free to skip to the damn story. Anyways, I thought of this about six months back, but I had it planned for a different couple. Then I realized that there is only one couple that should be written about. I procrastinated on the idea for a while, well I guess six months is more than just "a while", until I got re-inspired after watching Smiley Face by Gregg Araki. Which, by the way, is a very very good stoner movie. I definitely recommend it, it has a lot of heart under all the smoke, I swear. Anyways so I guess some of the parts in this fic relate to that if you've seen it, you'll recognize the inspiration. Finally one awful day after doing what I do in the privacy of my home I absent-mindedly began to write this fic. So to be honest, don't expect too much out of this. Oh, and yes I changed my pen name because I felt like it and I apologize for any grammatical or overall errors, I blame it on my inebriation and laziness. So it's full of errors and all that not so good stuff. Enjoy.

If you care to know, in the process of writing this I listened to a hefty amount of Mock Orange, Dinosaur Jr., and Mac Dreezy of course.

This is going to be a relatively short fic so don't expect it to live past the fifth chapter.

**chapter one: april fools jokes and peace offerings**

Spencer hung her right hand out the window, letting the early spring air flow between her fingers. She rested her head on her arm against the window, her eyes aimlessly looking around. Houses, telephone poles, mailboxes, clouds. The blond carried a small smile that grew as she turned to meet eyes with the brunette in the driver's seat. "What?" the older girl said in a soft laugh. "hmm, nothin." Spencer replied while taking the other girls hand in her own. It was a Saturday, the second day of April and it was going to be a good day.

"So, where're we headed?" Spencer lowered the volume of the radio.

"Wherever you want" Ashley said with smile. She always let the younger girl decide what to do, it didn't matter to her what they did as long as she was with the blond. "But first I gotta pick up this thing from my friend." she added quickly.

"Of course, no problem. What should we do? Maybe we should call up Aiden and Kyla?" Ashley usually implied something sexual whenever Spencer asked her what she'd prefer, but it was too early, and she didn't need to be suggestive to make her girl smile, or to get her in bed for that matter.

"Oh, no, no no no." She was half laughing and half serious.

"Wait, what happened?"

"Didn't you hear what I did to Kyla yesterday for April Fools? She totally went Britney Spears on me, but an angry version!"

" Ash, what'd you do?"

"It wasn't even that bad. I got Kyla to cyber with Aiden, except, well, it wasn't Aiden, it was me, then I copied the conversation and sent it to a couple of people. Aiden gave me his password, he even walked in on her during the end of it." Spencer rolled her eyes, this was definitely something only Ashley would think was funny. It sort of was, in way.

"Like how many people are we talking about?"

"I don't know. Just everyone on Aiden's friend list. He can't possibly know that many people, he such a doofus."

"Ashley, Aiden's the captain of the basketball team. Plus he gets oodled by all the girls you turned down for me." The younger girl's features graced with an arrogant smile.

"Oh, yeah huh. That sure is a lot of girls. He should thank me for all the hot ass I made available to him." Ashley beamed which earned her a playful slap on her leg. "Oh and also I installed, you know, those sex mirrors above her bed. Kyla's bed, I mean."

"Did you install them yourself?" Spencer asked, surprised.

"Nah, I got Aiden to do it for me. You know, Aiden helped out and got as much of a kick out of it as I did! But he doesn't get blamed cause he's the boy toy."

"Did she do anything to you?"

"She just went berserk on me, good thing he was there to stop her from killing me. 'Cause I was laughing way too hard for it to be a fair fight." Ashley pulled to the curb in front of a small brick building just outside of downtown. "I'll be right out, just wait for me." the brunette said while slowing getting out of the driver seat, but not before leaning over and giving her girl a chaste kiss.

"Always" the blond said smiling. Ashley shook her head as she walked around the car. "Spencer Carlin, you're so lame sometimes," she said walking towards the entrance of the small shop.

"You love me." Spencer said cockily.

"I do."

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The tinted front door squeaked as Ashley stepped out, fishing in her purse for her keys.

"Shit."

Spencer tilts her head in concern, "What is it Ash?"

"Nothing," she says standing in front of Spencer's door, "Sean probably thought it'd be damn funny to take my keys." she says in a more vengeful rather than agitated tone, "Could you hold this for me babe?" she hands the younger girl her purse.

Spencer takes the Burberry purse and places it on the center counsel, "of course."

Ashley leans over the door so she's at eye level with the blond. She leans in her, lips millimeters from Spencer's, "thanks babe." she says before giving her girlfriend a lingering kiss.

Ashley walks back into the store and she's going to be in there for a while because Spencer knows. Over the course of their relationship Spencer learned that there weren't many things that really pissed Ashley off. And we're not talking about the standard: murderers, rapists, child molesters, Nazi's, and Christian conservatives. Not even people talking shit about her or girls who think they're straight doesn't bother her anymore. Spencer did learn that there were three core things that Ashley could not walk away from without a fight, and they were: defending her girlfriend, cheerbitches, and people who fuck with her keys. Ask Spencer why Ashley was so crazy with her keys, and she'd tell you it's because Ashley fucking loves her Porsche. It's her baby, next to Spencer of course. It was the only explanation and so Spencer left it at that.

The point was this was going to take awhile and Spencer was a little bored and pretty hungry; they hadn't really eaten at all today. The youngest Carlin flipped through the radio stations one more time before shutting it off.

_I've been working on a piece that speaks of sex and desperation._

It was Ashley's phone. Even after the past 6 months of their relationship, Spencer never got used to listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Ashley adores Karen O, but she kinda creeps Spencer out.

_I've been screwing on the tracks of abandoned train stations._

Spencer reached into Ashley's purse and silenced the ring before Karen O screamed "art star". That's the part that freaked her out. It wasn't the screaming, it was just Karen O, she doesn't scream normally, you know? She was putting back the phone when something in Ashley's purse caught her eye. Spencer pulled out a 2 1/2 by 4 inch saran-wrapped square. It was a brownie. She turned the brownie around, inspecting it loosely, spotting a green sticker with a picture of a cartoon doctor that read, "Doctor Fred's Meds" in bold letters.

Maybe it was because she woke up less than an hour ago, or maybe it was because she was too hungry to think straight, but for whatever reason, Spencer, without thinking, unwrapped the brownie and took a fat bite out of the chewy chocolate chronic treat. I don't know if Bob Marley ate doobie brownies, but either way it was a bite he would be proud of.

Spencer chewed in delight, it was a quite good brownie to be honest, but it pretty dry. Spencer glanced down at brownie, its wrapper halfway wrapped around the sides with a crater where its right corner used to be, and instantly felt bad. She quickly assured herself it couldn't have been too bad that she took a bite could it? It was only a brownie after all and she could just buy Ashley a new one if she was whinny about it! Spencer smiled to herself then turned on the radio. I can only guess that Spencer didn't realize what kind of brownie it was. four songs and a commercial break later, Spencer was just finishing up why she shouldn't feel bad for eating the brownie and that she could just buy Ashley a new one if she was whinny about it!. Wait, didn't she already get to this conclusion?

Spencer moved her eyes from out the window down to the brownie again which she was still holding with both hands, propped up near her chest. It was then, as the music began to sound intensely heavy and world began to look like strangely cinematic that Spencer began to think about the doctor on the sticker on the brownie. Spencer lifted the brownie to eye level and rolled up the wrapper so she could read the front: DOCTOR FRED's MEDS FOR MEDICAL USE ONLY KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN, and right there on the smug-looking doctor's coat was The Leaf. Yeah you know what leaf I'm talking about. Her mouth was in small O, as she looked all around her - it was the kind of thing you'd see in a movie. Spencer took in a slow deep breath. "Oh shit."

"Don't ever fuck with my keys again!" Ashley half-laughed, half-yelled while standing in the door frame while holding the door open in front of her.

Maybe it was the weed, or maybe Spencer was scared of what Ashley would say, but for whatever reason, Spencer, again without thinking, shoved the whole brownie into her mouth. Ashley was still yelling nonsense into the store, something about how he's just jealous 'cause she's fucked the girls that he whacks off to a night. In the car, Spencer finished the brownie then took a large slug of Ashley's Evian, which was conveniently placed in the center council. Shortly after, Ashley made her way around the car muttering a "sorry about that" while getting in, but Spencer didn't hear her.

"Spencer?' Ashley looked over at her girlfriend who was looking straight ahead. "Spencer. Spencer, what-" the older girl was about to reach over to her girlfriend stopped when she saw the empty wrapper on her lap.

"Uhm, Spencer?" she asked not even sure if it was meant to be a question, her tone teetering between amused and confused.

Spencer turned head quickly, almost dramatically and before Ashley had time to say anything or even think about saying anything, Spencer just went into a tangent, "OH MY GOD! Ashley! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! I swear! But wait, what are you doing with a pot brownie anyway!? If you think I'd be okay with it you were wrong! I didn't even know you were still doing POT I can't believe you left it there for me to eat! Are they even legal? Who the hell is Doctor Fred!? I bet he's not even a real doctor prescribing stuff like this! I don't even do drugs! I don't even think I like drugs! I've never even---"

"Whoa whoa whoa. Spencer! Calm down" Ashley had her hands on the other girls shoulder. Ashley had the on the kind of smile you have on when you're trying so hard not to laugh as stared at the younger girl. "I was gonna give it to Kyla as a peace offering, for, you know..." she didn't even try to finish her sentence because this whole situation was just too damn funny.

"Ash, I swear I didn't know it was that kind of brownie until after the first bite." the girls voice was sincere and Ashley knew she was sorry even though she didn't have to be.

"Oh...kay... but why'd you have to eat the whole thing?" Spencer just stared at her girlfriend, completely blitzed out of her dome. Ashley doubted that Spencer heard a single word she had said, but eventually the blond reacted.

"Wha-ut?" Spencer said almost child-like, dragging the two-syllable word longer than it ever should be said. Obviously missing whatever her city girl had to say, her eyes all glossy and squinty.

The older girl looked at her blue-eyed, small town bred, innocent everywhere but in bed girlfriend in a way they no one could doubt, meant that she loved her with all her heart. This was going to be one hell of a day. "Oh. My. God. Spencer Carlin, you are so stoned."

ehhh, hmm, hopefully the next chapters are better.


End file.
